There’s something no one tells you when you make the decision to pursue financial freedom: it can change your relationships. Sometimes drastically.
I used to believe that money was a private matter—a personal mission to get my finances in order so I could live better ( and in some ways it is very personal). But what I’ve come to realize on this journey is that money is rarely just personal. It's relational. The way we spend, save, budget, or even talk about money impacts the people around us. And the people around us? They impact us and our money choices.
When Your Budget Doesn’t Match Your Circle
Choosing to get out of debt, build savings, and say “no” to things that used to be second nature—brunch, birthdays, girls' trips, or even store runs—can feel isolating.
I started to notice the tension when I turned down invitations I used to say yes to without thinking. I had to explain that I was prioritizing paying off debt, and sometimes that explanation was met with encouragement… but often, it was confusion, judgment, or silence.
And that’s hard and hurtful.
Because it’s not that I don’t love my people—I do. But I had to come to terms with the fact that love doesn’t always mean shared values, especially when it comes to money.
Calming Down On Conversations (and Advice)
One of the biggest shifts I made was becoming intentional about who I shared my financial journey with.
I used to openly talk about my money goals with just about anyone I loved. But I learned that even with the best intentions, some people can project fear, doubt, or old money beliefs onto your path. And that can derail you if you’re not careful.
So I started calming down and shutting up.
Not out of secrecy or shame—but out of protection. I now choose to take financial advice only from people whose lives I admire. People who are where I want to be, or at least walking the same path. Some people say, "If I wouldn’t switch bank accounts or budget styles with them, I don’t need to take their opinion to heart" and I am adopting this notion.
Love Doesn’t Always Equal Support
That’s a hard pill to swallow. But if you’re on this journey, you may already know the feeling:
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Friends inviting you to spend money you just don’t have (or don’t want to part with)
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Family members not understanding why you’re skipping out on certain gatherings or gifts
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People assuming you’re being “too frugal” or “missing out on life”...(I am constantly being called the 'cheap' or 'broke' one in my family)
But what they don’t see is the bigger picture you’re working toward: peace of mind, no debt, ownership, freedom.
It’s not that we don’t want to enjoy life—it’s that we’re building a foundation so we can enjoy it with security and abundance later on. So now we adjust and choose to enjoy life in different ways.
The Adjustment Is Worth It
Let me be real—it’s been uncomfortable. I’ve felt guilt. I’ve felt misunderstood. I’ve questioned myself.
But every time I look at the progress I’ve made, I remember that discomfort is temporary, but financial peace? That’s for life.
I’ve paid off thousands in credit card debt, my car loan, and am actively attacking over $100K in student loan debt with my husband. None of this would’ve happened if I didn’t make the decision to shift my mindset and adjust my relationships accordingly.
(And honestly, I have been committed to this life change for so long that, now that I make a little more money, I still can't see myself spending an excessive amount on just anything.)
What You Can Do:
💬 Set Boundaries: It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to decline. Boundaries are how you stay aligned.
🧠 Stay Focused on Your ‘Why’: Your why will carry you through when emotions try to trip you up.
📉 Filter Financial Advice: Not everyone is qualified to guide you. Choose voices that echo your goals.
👥 Find Your Community: Surround yourself with people who understand this journey. Whether it’s online, in a Facebook group, or on YouTube—community matters. My personal choice for community is YouTube. It feels like a little safe haven with the financial freedom community
Join our community on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@PaperByMoe
You Are Not Alone
If you’re feeling the tug-of-war between your money goals and your relationships, know this:
You're not selfish. You’re not wrong. You’re not too strict.
You’re simply growing.
And with growth comes pruning. That doesn’t mean cutting people off—it means learning where to plant your roots and where to water sparingly.
Stay focused, stay encouraged, and remember: your future is worth the sacrifice.